Better Bad Decisions.: a night on the town.

Fear not, friends, I'm alive and well, and with something to actually write about.

So Ash and I have been spending a lot of money...too much money, really...on feeding our hunger for weekends full of booze and entertainment in the form of traveling to places like NYC and Boston. Well, as she's continued to abandon me for a different state entirely (see previous posts), she one day woke up and realized how much she missed being around such an awesome roommate and decided we needed to have a night, but something that wouldn't cost too much, and that we wouldn't have to travel far.

Solution: a night devoted to visiting the local bars in a consecutive fashion in order to further acclimate ourselves to the town we've lived in since last October. Or as we so eloquently called it... a townie bar crawl.

Since all you fans are well-aware that toxic scorpion bowls live but a mere 1 minute walk away from our residence, we figured why not start the night off with a bang (and by bang I mean a bowl....of intoxication), along with some yummy edible options. It was pretty quiet at the fusion asian cuisine bar, sans a bartender who kept criticizing us for drinking too slowly. Look, we had to pace ourselves... after what seemed like an inch's worth of drink consumed, we both were already looking at each other saying something along the lines of...

Me: Shit, I am already feeling this. Like already way past buzzed.

Ash: Yeah, me too, and we still have so much food to eat.

Me: There's so much drink left.

Both of us: UGGGGGGHHHHHHH why do we do this to ourselves?!

Me: Can I have that last scallion pancake?

So finally we both sucked it up, and sucked it down, because once the food was gone, we were pretty antsy to go visit some new places.

The next bar we went to we've been to on occasion, and they have a lovely deck outside complete with bar, tables, and industrial sized space heaters for your convenience. It felt good being submerged in a sea of townies, as we gingerly sipped our drinks that had a satisfactory booze-to-mixer ratio. Some older gentleman asked us something about if we fished...and then it turned into us saving his seat for him...I dunno, I wasn't following the conversation, but once he was back, we moved over to our own space. I could see in my peripherals there were three guys plotting to come talk to us, and I just wanted to give a shout out to how random and poorly executed their "game" was...

Boy #1 to #2 & #3: (awkwardly loudly) Alright guys, we better get going!!!

All 3 are saying bye to various surrounding people; they go to walk out, and then one guy turns around last second with the other 2 following and comes up to us...

Boy #2: Hello, ladies. You guys come here often?

Ash: Eh, yeah, occasionally. (In reality the last time we were at this particular bar was October.)

Boy #3: Nah, man, if you guys were regulars we woulda seen ya. Never seen ya before!

I didn't realize townies had such a keen sense of their surroundings.

Anyway, we chatted with the guys for a while...the leader of the pack was totally jones-ing Ash, and I had to just keep drinking to stop myself from laughing out loud. I don't think it ever gets old when I hang out with my girlfriends who aren't interested in the male gender get hit on repeatedly. It generates a rather maniacal laugh that comes from deep within my soul...but I'm not bitter about men, or anything...

So long story short, Ash fbook friend requested the guy, because he was hell-bent on it and convinced if he didn't witness her doing so, she never would. They asked us what we were doing that night, as in wondering if we wanted to accompany them to some party, but we had bigger and better plans for visiting bars we hadn't yet been to, and then to top it off, a few of Ash's friends were inviting us out to another bar, in a neighboring town. So we ditched our plans to head down the street, and headed off to Scioli's.

Family friendly by day, buck-wild by night.

Now, I knew of this place, because it's located in a large plaza where it stands adjoined to one of the Planet Fitnesses I go to on occasion. I figured it was going to be a small bar inside of a pizza bar. What I didn't realize is we had a club-like atmosphere in our "backyard" that left us continually thinking we were somewhere else, like Worcester, or say like... the Jersey Shore...minus guidos. As we pulled up around midnight, we noticed a huge crowd of people outside, and although confused as to why so many people were chilling in the parking lot, we walked in with our mission to find Ash's friends.

But denied we were by a large bouncer named Troy, for the rules were something like after 12am, no one comes in. Now, that would be understandable if the place was full to capacity--I've been to plenty of bars before where you need to lather yourself up in lube because it'd the only way you're going to get past people. This was not the case. The initial bar that we could see, complete with pool tables, was roughly warehouse sized, with lots of empty space. But people behind us kept coming and being whiney bitches to the bouncers, who were getting irritated and yelling at everyone to get lost. I pulled Ash back...

Me: Um so, I guess we're not going to get in?

Ash: Trust me, we're getting in. I can just feel it.

Little did I know my roomie is a bouncer-whisperer. I watched as she worked her magic. We stood quietly off to the side while others harassed the bouncers. Then, she showered him with a mature friendliness, making him aware we weren't there to give him a hard time, that she knows what it's like to work at a bar, etc. Key points being you try to connect with these individuals, making them feel empathized and, after being able to talk to them on a first-name-basis, convince said bouncers you are not whiney bitches like all those who preceded you. I witnessed the change, the twinkle in his eye that let us know yes, we will be let in, but we must be patient and inconspicuous. We waited about a minute, and thanking Troy, we were in.

Drinks in hand, we were scoping out the scene for her friends. Once again we were surprised because as we ventured further back, there was an additional large room complete with bar, dance floor with stage, and screens playing music videos to the music that was blasting. Eventually we caught up with the friends and let go, dancing to our own beat, as not a lot of people were on the dance floor. But the crowd grew, and before we knew it, Ash and I were surrounded by men, again. I don't blame them, we're pretty awesome on the dance floor-- the fact that we can move and her and I seem to channel similar thoughts makes for a good-looking pair of dancers without premeditated choreography.

So did I mention there was a stage? Well, I pushed Ash into dancing up there first, because those that we occasionally saw take a whack at it were nothing special, and also I initially wussed out. She looked great up there, and a few of our guy acquaintances continued to dance with me and we cheered her on. Then the dollar bills got busted out.

Bad Decision: Making your roomie get up on a townie-bar dance floor stage.

Better Bad Decision: Throwing $ bills at her, encouraging others to do the same.

Well in reality, it was one of the guys who started, but she didn't see it, so I grabbed the $2, got her attention, and threw them right at her. I'm proud to say she made a whopping $5 that night.

So I got up on stage eventually, and we had a ton of fun dancing over men and dancing with other girls up on our platform. Even our guy friends jumped up at one point. I thought Ash was making out with a Latino man at one point, but further clarification revealed he was the one trying to kiss her neck, she was not giving him the light of day. Make yourself wanted, yet untouchable...well done. Then the lights came on-- time to go! We made it all the way to the door and then Ash turns around...

Ash: Fuck. My keys. I lost them.

Me: Well, you had them when we came in, they are bound to be in this building.

So we searched high and low in the dance arena, but to no avail. At this point I got paranoid that someone stole them, and kept insisting we go out to her car to make sure it was even there. But we spotted Troy, our lovely bouncer friend, and let him know we couldn't find her keys, so he helped look. I mean we searched for a good 10 minutes or so, and then when we thought all hope was gone, a magical man with a magical pair of car keys strolled right up to Troy saying he had found them. Overwhelmed with excitement we both hugged our Troy man, and with guys in tow, peaced out in the FJ.

So we thought these dudes wanted to have an after party. Turns out the house we ended up going to wasn't theirs, but a buddy's, and no one else was really there. Sketchy? Yeah. But they were harmless enough, and Ash needed to pee. Dude #1 decided to ask me to follow him outside, as Dude #2 waited for Ash, and I knew what I was getting myself into. I also knew Ash wouldn't leave me unattended for long, especially considering the obvious fact that guys aren't her cup of tea. So off I meandered with Dude #1 to the backyard. Yes, you heard me, because that's how it's done in town.

Bad Decision: Making out with random dude outside in the back of a tailgate.

Better Bad Decision: Not allowing it to go much further than that. I said much.

Meanwhile back in the house, Ashly was wondering where I was, after hanging out with Dude #2 for a while and awaiting my return.

Ash: Where's Amanda?

Dude #2: I dunno, they probably went out for a walk. You want a tour of the place?

Ash: Hmm, yeah, sure, that's cool.

(after many minutes pass)

Ash: No seriously, where's Amanda?

Dude #2: She's probably already on "the tour".

Ash: (thinking) I suddenly don't want to be on the tour, anymore.

Eventually my paranoia sunk in, as I kept hearing Ash's voice, so I said it was time to go. We dropped the guys off at yet another location, and finally headed home. We decided at 3am as we went to bed that we were much better off spooning in bed with Royce in the middle. And even though we only had a scorpion bowl between us plus an additional one or two drinks over the course of the rest of the night, I got a nice crash course in re-learning what a true hangover feels like. Ugh.

Life Lesson: It's important to be aware of your surroundings.

Otherwise, being in the backyard in flip flops leads to poison ivy on your foot.